If it's not too much to ask, could you do 3, 8, and 14 from that list? I think they would work together really cute!
Astarion x Tav, Astarion x Reader, Astarion x Asexual!Tav, Astarion x Bard!Tav
Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Protective!Astarion, Asexual Angst
Warning: Tav has a sh*tty ex, allusions to past coerced sex (if unknowing at the time), mild acephobia
Prompt(s): hiding face in neck, shielding the other one with their body, putting an arm around the other’s waist
Astarion x AsexaulBard!Tav Masterlist
A/N: My first thought was pain. Apologies.
It was supposed to be a good night. You sought, you found, you looted which meant a warm place to sleep, plenty of food and celebratory atmosphere. Astarion had even gotten his hands on wine he wouldn’t turn his nose at. Everything was perfect, until a new bard began to play.
The second you heard his voice, your hair stood on end. Hoping against hope it was just your imagination, you turned your attention to the performance. A familiar half-elf took center stage, armed with a lyre and devastating smile; Ronan.
Your whole body froze on the spot as old feelings rushed back to you, a mixture of shame, anxiety and the sensation of being so utterly small.
“My love? Are you alright?”
You blinked, realizing Astarion was standing next to you, concern clear in his eyes.
“Yes,” you said, automatically. “Just, taken by surprise is all.”
He frowned, unconvinced before following your eye line to the stage.
“Do you know him?” he asked.
“I, ah…yes,” you said, your hands starting to shake. “We used to be…together. It was a long time ago.”
There was no point in lying, but Gods why did you have to have this conversation now? And why were you acting like this? It had been years. You had moved on.
Your thoughts were interrupted as Astarion reached out, slipping his arm around your waist and pulling you to his side.
The effect was instantaneous. Whatever tension your body held melted away. The speed of your heart slowed. The scent of rosemary filled your lungs and you remembered where you were, safe and sound.
He pressed a kiss on top of your head, taking a deep breath of his own.
“Did he hurt you?” he asked.
You shook your head. “No, nothing like that. He didn’t do anything on purpose.”
Astarion’s grip on your tightened ever so slightly. You didn’t need to look up to know he was staring daggers across the room. His hold on you was likely the only thing keeping Ronan’s neck out of his teeth.
“Meaning?”
“He never forced me to do anything,” you assured, trying to remain calm for both your sakes. “I always said yes. Being intimate is what you’re supposed to do when you’re in a caring adult relationship. He wasn’t abusive or cruel, so there was no reason for me to say no…even when I didn’t really want to.”
“That’s reason enough,” Astarion said, firmly.
“I know that now,” you amended. “At the time though, it didn’t feel good enough. We had more than one argument on the subject. Eventually though, I came to the conclusion that, if it weren’t for the feeling of obligation, I never would have said yes in the first place. He wasn’t happy about that and we ended things.”
“Less than amicably I imagine.”
You had to laugh. “Understatement.”
Astarion remained silent for a long moment, his fingers rubbing absent minded circles into your skin.
“Explain to me then, how you can confess all that and still claim he didn’t hurt you.”
Something hard twisted inside your chest, as if he had pressed his finger right into the tear of an old wound. “I wasn’t as if he were holding me at knife point,” you said, feeling the need to defend yourself. “Like I said, I didn’t know saying a blanket no was even an option. Sex is well…expected at a certain point. I can hardly blame him for not questioning the script society had laid out. He just–”
“Made you believe you needed an excuse,” he finished.
Your lips parted, ready to argue, but you found yourself unable to think of anything. Fresh shame rose inside you, but you couldn’t for the life of you name its source. For defending him? For not leaving sooner? For even thinking that your pain was worthy of acknowledgement? All of it swirled together until you became sick to your stomach.
Astarion’s eyes softened, as he pulled you into a proper embrace allowing you to hide your face in his neck. You weren’t going to cry. Not here. Not now.
“I’m sorry,” you said, unsure of what else to say.
“Don’t be,” he said, softly. “It’s not a competition, you know.”
Your instinct was to argue. There was still a guilt you felt at having him hold you like this, as if your experience were in any way comparable to his; but, that wasn’t the point. You had been hurt and he wasn’t going to let you pretend you hadn’t. If you didn’t already love him before, this would have sealed it.
You pulled away, feeling your ability to speak come back to you, just in time to catch his expression shift into something hard and dangerous.
You turned in the direction of his gaze, your own stomach turning as you and Ronan made eye contact. He was coming right for you.
Astarion’s whole body went rigid. Instinctively you grabbed his wrist, keeping him from going to the dagger on his belt.
“Don’t,” you hissed.
The clear and present fury in his eyes, cooled at your warning, enough to let you know he wasn’t going to kill Ronan; at least, not right away.
Ronan, somehow, remained oblivious to all of this, his focus seemingly all on you.
“Well, isn’t this a small world?” he said, greeting you with a disarming smile. “You’re looking good. Who's your friend?”
Your lips pressed into a fine line. Either he was an idiot or being purposefully obtuse. Both ground down on your nerves.
“It’s nice to see you too,” you said. “Ronan, this is my partner, Astarion. Astarion this is–”
“The ex,” he concluded. “Charmed, I’m sure.”
Whatever confident facade Ronan started the conversation with faltered slightly at Astarion’s bold dismissal.
“And really darling, I thought we discussed this,” Astarion continued. “Partner always requires unnecessary explanation. I stand by "lover”, it suits us much better.“
You held back a smile. You had discussed this, at length. Your impression, however, had been that he liked the air of mystery the title "partner” provided. Something about leaving people guessing whether you were partners in business, crime or romance. Apparently, current company required something a bit more obvious.
“Lover?” Ronan questioned, his brow rising. “Changed your mind about a few things then?”
“Not even a little,” you said, coolly. “What do you want?”
He raised his hands up in surrender, his expression a parody of innocence.
“I was simply intending to say hello and catch up. No need to be frigid, but I suppose some things don’t change. Best of luck to you, partner, they’ve got their legs locked tighter than a counting house vault.”
Rage flashed across Astarion’s features as he took a step forward, his body acting as a shield between you and Ronan.
“Would you mind repeating that?” he said, his voice low and full of teeth.
Ronan’s eyes widened slightly, his mouth falling open. You just knew he was about to say something stupid.
“Astarion,” you warned.
He glanced back towards you, his expression intense, but not unreasonable. You knew then, all you had to do was say the word and Ronan would be reduced to nothing but a bag of blood. It was tempting, but not worth it. At least, not worth it while in public with countless eye witnesses.
You shook your head.
He nodded in understanding and turned back to Ronan, his lips parting in an amicable smile.
“It seems you get to survive that comment,” he said, cheerfully. “I suggest you don’t take such mercy for granted. Now, run along.”
Ronan didn’t need telling twice as he shot you one last bewildered look before making his exit.
The second he was out of sight Astarion turned all his focus back to you.
“You’re sure you don’t want me to kill him?” he offered.
You had to smile. “Waste of an evening.”
He considered that, nodding his head from side to side. “I suppose. Still, a little nibble just to scare him wouldn’t hurt anyone. At least, not much.”
“I think you scared him well enough,” you laughed. “Besides, I’m selfish at heart. I want you here, with me, for the rest of the night. No more distractions.”
Astarion grinned, pulling you back into his arms. “If it’s me you want, my love, it’s me you shall have.”
And there he stayed, keeping you safe in the present with the promise of more in the future. The past could not be undone and would no doubt follow you in small and big ways for the rest of your life. The difference was, you had somebody who understood and loved you enough to carry some of the weight. It was more than anyone could hope for and he was yours.
